You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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