I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
