what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
