Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
