the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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