am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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