i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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