Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
