Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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