Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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