i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
