I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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