If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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