Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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