he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
