Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
