I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
