I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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