When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize