you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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