K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize