We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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