so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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