I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
