She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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