And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
