Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
