So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
