im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize