Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
