you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
