Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
