It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
