theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
