she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize