your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize