haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
