He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
