She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
