I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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