I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
