no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Come see our sink grown plant.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
