About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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