i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
