why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
