I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize