I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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