? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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