who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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