Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
we should paint friendship bongs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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