Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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