capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
