he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
