Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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