It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
barbara walters just said penis...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
