My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
