Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
