i permit you to call me
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize