that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
