I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
