I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
