she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
